Q: Would you please answer my questions directly and not assume I'm speaking about What when I use his name in a question?

A: OK. Let's only assume he's being referred to if his full name is used.

Q: How'd it all begin?

A: Bear with me. This was such a long answer, I had to give it its own page.

Q: Why a protractor?

A: In the dawning days of the true-to-life Strange Table, Annoying once experienced a rush of his skill in order to chase unwanted people away from our table. Pulling out the closest small object, he announced "Power of the Protractor!" and proceeded to persuade the offenders to leave. It was a beautiful moment in ST history which confirmed our powers of being anti-social.

Q: Incompetent gods? What kind of blasphemy is this?

A: The gods of the universe I've developed for the stories are imperfect and arrogant. This does not in any way reflect my religious beliefs for this world and it should never be assumed as such. I also haven't ruled out that the gods in the stories weren't created by a single God more powerful (and perfect) than they, but such a contingency doesn't have to be introduced for the sake of the stories.

Q: Whose license plates are mentioned?

A: I believe I've mentioned two license plates in the Strange stories. In Close Encounter of the Strange Kind, we hot-wire a red GTO with KAHNMAN2 plates. This is reminiscent of Joey Kahn, past Drum Major who was sometimes rather anal about his car.

In The Strange Table goes to the Supermarket, Annoying reads off the plate "VIC 600"... well, my highschool sweetheart Victoria goes by Vic, which in Roman numerals would be 6-100. Hence, Vic 600. Pretty nifty, eh?

Q: Do you know any other lists of questions which throw in irrelevant queries?

A: Yes. The Monty Python and the Holy Grail Windows game has a great troubleshooting guide in its manual (not to mention the optional 100-question registration during the game) and GIF Construction Set for Windows comes with a text file which is an entertaining read as well.

Q: Do these people really exist at Niles West high school?

A: Many of them did, although it's now been many years since graduation. To begin with, the nine official members are based on nine true students, myself included. Obviously, I did not use our real names, although GOD is actually named Tim as in the Bane World Saga.

We really had an Uncle Bob's Hot Dog Hut which no longer exists, although Bob is still brought in to work at the CAF on a substitute basis. At least, he was the last I checked.

Parin Patel was a trumpet player in our grade level. He was never highly respected, and as far as I know had no wish to join us after about the first year.

Mr. James Puff is the head of security, although I'm sure he's a lot younger and a lot more susceptible to pain than I've made him out to be. No, there is no conformist device in the dean's office.

Our principal is Dr. Stein. I don't think he's ever gone crazy, but again, this may have changed since I last checked.

The five clones were not based on any true people, although Drug Overdose was quite similar to the conceptualization I had for "Prozac," another trumpet player in our grade. These were the only characters I didn't model by the personality of anyone I actually know.

Both Mr. Koch's daughter and Alice Lee, names mentioned during What DeHelizat's confusion scenes, are real people.

Madhu's Pizza is a real ST hangout. I didn't seek his permission for the coupon.

Q: Can I borrow your South Park tape?

A: Sure. When I first wrote this file, others had dibs on it, but now that it's years later, feel free. If I can find it.

Q: What are Dibs?

A: They have first priority or something.

Q: What's with the clown?

A: Like most people, I've had a few odd experiences with clowns. I'm not truly clownophobic, but I've decided that clowns are an abomination and that they cause more scarring than smiles for young children (much the same as the shopping mall Santa Claus in that movie A Christmas Story). Don't get me wrong, I don't disapprove of all clowns. I grew up with Bozo, after all.

Pat the Clown is part of a society of child entertainers, the Hierarchy of Clowns. The fact that What DeHelizat confused him and caused him to lose his cool in front of the kids lowered his status in his warped society, so now he seeks revenge. After The Strange Society and the Clown, he wishes to exact this revenge against the entire ST. He has yet to meet the clownophobic D. Psycho...

View the text file I created when Brainstorming for the clown's name for his first appearance by clicking here.

Q: How do you calculate displacement as a function of velocity and time?

A: X - X0 = 1/2 ( V + V0 ) t

Thank you to Adam Mathes who pointed out that this is only the case in very distinct parameters.

Q: What's in the future for the ST?

A: I have my ideas. The Bane World Saga has to be completed, and I've known how it will end since... about the start of the second book. For the teenagers, there will be more clown confrontations, deeper insight as to the nature of the gods, I have an idea for another adversary, there's a second Recent to meet, and there may be an episode of time travel. I've also thought of a spin-off series to take place in the same universe though not involving the ST characters or Operation Destruction in any way. I have no idea whether this will ever take off, though.

Q: Why is the Strange Society emblem an ST? Why not SS?

A: The ST emblem was designed when we still refered to ourselves as the Strange Table. Now, the ST is short for STrange Society. We are in no way going to adopt the initials SS. Hitler used it first, if my memory serves it right, and we don't really want the association.

Q: I'd like to visit the Bane World. Is there travel service there and what numbers do I have to call?

A: Currently, the Bane World is still sealed against all access but by the decree of the Circle of Seven. When the Bane World Saga and any sequels to the prequil are all complete, perhaps there will someday be a Virtual Bane World. Until then, you'll just have to explore the Temple of Strangeness using Doom][, if you still have the game. When I made the file, the game was still big. Goes to show how long this dates back...

Q: The Circle of Seven?

A: The Supreme Head-Honchos of the gods. They're only ever refered to. So far, the only god we've ever met other than the Guardian of Operation Destruction (who's a Recent anyway) is Amura Kimi in Close Encounter of the Strange Kind.

Q: A Recent?

A: An attempt of the gods to create one of their own kind. GOD was not eternal, but created by the others. He and one other do not have the full respect of the gods for this reason.

Q: Create?

A: It's a verb. "To make."

Q: Have you ever been to Venice Beach?

A: Yes, when the marching band went to Hollywood. What a place! What DeHelizat bought a hat there. It was later confiscated by one of the deans and he never saw it again.

I've also been to Harajuku in Tokyo which is just as fun.

Q: Are any of the ST members currently not attached to anyone?

A: Drum Boy, and possibly eternally. When I first compiled these questions, I had specific answers for them, but now I haven't much idea...

Q: Are the rumors about you and Victoria in Jester's basement true?

A: No. Where is everybody hearing this, anyway?

Q: Your stories suggest that this is the same "universe" as the Sailor Moon series exists within. If so, is your apocalypse supposed to give rise to the future Crystal Tokyo, and isn't even that messed up by your having killed them all?

A: No, this is not supposed to be the same universe. What we fought were the projections of many Niles West students' wishes for the show to return during the dark days of its absense. Also, Jupiter isn't actually dead. Makoto is tied up in Sicko's basement.

Q: So West had more people obsessed with Sailor Moon than just you?

A: Due to efforts not even involving myself, Princess Serenity was painted on the wall in the CAF near the old Strange Table for some time, the name "Sailor Moon" appeared in the index of our '96 yearbook, and Andrea Hui of A Sailor Moon Romance was a personal acquaintance of mine there.

Q: What, no Dragon Ball images in the CAF?

A: Yes, there were Dragonball, Lodoss Wars, and Gundam images in our CAF. We also had three versions of Superman and a mural depicting scenes from the Yellow Submarine animated film. then the administration painted over the work of art students from the past 15 years. I was more than greatly dismayed, to put it nicely.

Q: Do you like Spam?

A: Even though I enjoy Monty Python, I have no love of Spam.

Q: Down how many roads must a man walk?

A: 42

Q: You have something in your teeth

A: Oh, thank you for alerting me to it.

Q: What specific strengths and weaknesses do the ST have?

A: I'll start with the original five. Our main trait is the excessive Free-will we possess with no self control to counteract it. Take this free-will away (Conformist Device) and we are vegetable-like. Should one die, the individual Bane he encompasses would be released to Earth, pretty much omnipotent to inflict human minds and create the destined chaos.

Dangerously Psycho, Bane of Pain and Violence: Strengths: leadership qualities, daring beyond reason, close combat with axe. Weaknesses: sometimes goes into uncontrollable fits with flashbacks, plans tend to fail or be outlandish, clownophobia.

Drum Boy, Bane of Wanton Destruction: Strengths: ferocity when things get personal, use of blunt objects for annihilation of solid objects, thinks rationally. Weaknesses: Doesn't always see the big picture, more easily annoyed than the others.

Annoying, Bane of Annoyance: Strengths: persistence, repulsion, use of protractor as weapon and tool, irrational abilities as Super Protractor Man, power to kill or paralyze with sight of his rear end, Scottish. Weaknesses: use of repulsion often occurs at improper moments, may overestimate his ability.

Sicko, Bane of Perversion: Strengths: incessant supply of energy, repulsion, often displays physical properties of rubber. Weaknesses: poor social skills.

What DeHelizat, Bane of Confusion: Strengths: comprehension of all forms including languages and codes and situations, mind control through simple conversation with MOST people, best at formulating plans, keeps a dormant alien being as ally in his mind. Weaknesses: Loses abilities under a red sun. Oh, wait, that's Superman. What, I guess, just always concerns himself with the mission. He also questions a lot of things...

the Guardian of Operation Destruction: Strengths: limited powers over life and matter, fastest access to Temple of Strangeness, knowledge of centuries of Earth's history, understands the gods and mission better than the other ST members. Weaknesses: has experienced most of his existence as a god and doesn't always fit in to modern society, sometimes incompassionate (although more compassionate than all other gods), feels like he doesn't fit in with the gods or the humans (relates best with those in the Bane World).

Other members of the ST - Jester, Anonymous the Paranoiac, Undecided - have strengths and weaknesses of their own, but are not integral to Operation Destruction and do not compare to the Earth dwellers as they are Banes. Non-ST members who do influence the apocalypse include:

Dude: Strengths: Earth-dwelling Bane (It is mentioned in BWSbII that a Builder managed to escape to Earth) and thus isn't mortal, ability to build nearly any technological device on short notice. Weaknesses: absent-minded, relatively easy target for kidnapping and self-inflicted harm, uses a dialect many cannot understand.

Cello Girl: Strengths: Can induce sleep with patron instrument, natural invulnerability to attacks involving sound. Weaknesses: Only one useful ability, difficulty expressing herself through words, meek.

Arrogant: Strengths: Can be intimidating verbally, leadership qualities, perfect hair, natural invulnerability to attacks involving sound. Weaknesses: little physical strength and easily overwhelmed, very unstable if losing a conflict.

The gods: Strengths: Overwhelming power, can destroy all of Earth. Weaknesses: EXTREME arrogance, dysfunctional society, always in disagreement with one another, denial of own imperfection, incapable of destroying their earliest creations.

Q: Pretty thorough. How about the enemies?

A: We have no enemies. Everyone loves the idea of an imminent apocalypse.

Q: Oh, c'mon!

A: OK, you got me. Here's some info on the different opponents we've faced:

Hyper: Strengths: incessant supply of energy, natural invulnerability to attacks involving sound. Weaknesses: stutters, currently dead...

Obnoxious: Strengths: repulsion, ability to deliver unending list of lude insults, natural invulnerability to attacks involving sound. Weaknesses: insults are useless against those who simply don't care which makes him hysterical, currently dead...

Drug Overdose: Strengths: actual attentiveness disguised by stoned appearance, familiar with use of any substance toward achieving a high, natural invulnerability to attacks involving sound. Weaknesses: slower responses than his allies, physical dependence on illegal substances, currently dead...

Pat the Clown: Strengths: harnesses bizarre powers as clown, can produce foreign objects from seemingly nowhere, large body mass, skills with children. Weaknesses: controlled by a need for revenge, must adhere to certain jurisdictions under the Hierarchy of Clowns.

Head of Niles West security, Mr. Jim Puff: Strengths: natural resistance to most irritations, extremely large body mass, many years of experience, access to enforce the Conformist Device, use of flashlight as weapon, body has natural shielding against physical attack. Weaknesses: girth may cause mobility problems, requires much food to function, average speed.

The Sailor Scouts: Strengths: powers of elementals, unidentifiable when not transformed. Weaknesses: most are currently dead...

The alien: Strengths: cannot be harmed in natural form, ability to take control of human minds with success dependant on strength of mind, mass-retaining memory. Weaknesses: the irrational mind of What DeHelizat, currently imprisoned within.

Parin: Strengths: persistence. Weaknesses: too many to list...

So much occurs in the Bane World Saga, I won't be able to list it all here.

Q: How does it all end?

A: I already know exactly how it all will end. There WILL be a massive twist. I can hardly wait...

Q: Shine yer shoes, Gov'na?

A: No, thanks.

Q: How do you know a {choose your own minority} has been using your computer?

A: There's White-out on the screen!

Q: What is the longest word in the English language with only one vowel?

A: Strengths.

Q: What's the story with the Temple of Strangeness?

A: The Strange Table Meets its Doom, Part II.

Q: Ha, ha. No, really.

A: This is an actual microcosm part of neither Heaven nor Earth where the Guardian of Operation Destruction resided for the lives of the human-enclosed banes up until he took mortality to join them. It is currently maintained by Arrogant. The Temple houses the following points of interest: a plaque describing Operation Destruction, a viewing portal to Earth, the Luna Pen of magical appearance-shifting capabilities, the ashes of Hyper, Obnoxious, and Drug Overdose, a fountain of healing, a bunch of columns, a bed.

If you have a registered copy of Doom][, you may try out this little walk-through I created. It has its own theme song and unprecedented "reflection" effects. They were cool at the time, really.

Q: Who has access to the Temple?

A: All six ST members on Earth and the gods, although they could care less.

Q: I miss Hot Dog Bob.

A: I know. We all do. Some theorize, however, that Madhu is really the essence of Bob.

Q: Where do you find the time to do this stuff?

A: I was supposed to be proofing an essay when I drafted the first version of this. The latest update was done at a computer lab in Tokyo as I'm passing time.

Q: How do I join the ST?

A: We've stopped accepting new, official membership to what was originally a high school clique, but if you email me with your profile, desired name, interests, shoe size, favorite sexual fantasy, and general area of residence, I can mention you in the Bane World Saga making you an original Bane. This isn't guaranteed, and I can't make you a king or central figure because it would effect my planned story line too drastically. For becoming an honorary ST member, we'd long toyed with the idea of some sort of standardized test which What has dubbed the STAT, but I believe that idea has been laid to rest. Really, if you want a place in the ST, visit the 4um and talk with us. We don't bite. Well, Sicko does a little...

Q: Did you see that "Spiceworld" movie?

A: Ugh, no!

Q: Do you know that episode where the Strange Society sits around and reminisces about the birth of each member?

A: Yes.

Q: Um... so what was the point of it?

A: To set up some of the history and explain a bit of the nature of how we are on Earth. I needed to demonstrate that we were put on Earth through the natural means of human birth before I could begin to produce the Bane World Saga. I purposely made this story seem somewhat... restless... at the end to set the scene for BWS and gave it the too-long name to show that it wouldn't quite fit in with the others. Funny you should ask.

Q: Do you use any kind of controlled substances? I won't tell.

A: No. Although my character has been hinted to be on something (moreso that he drinks blood), I have never used anything and do not plan to. Well, alcohol, but that's not illegal to me.

Q: If you're so clean, why is "drug-induced ignorance" a component of your character?

A: I believe Dangerously Psycho decapitated Drug Overdose at the end of this particular trilogy. 'Nuff said.

Q: Could I see a picture of you guys?

A: Sure. This is the professional pic we had done for the yearbook.

Q: How come you don't have any female members?

A: For the sake of the stories, the Bane World really doesn't have any gender difference, sort of like planet Namek. For the real students, well, the most prospective girls had some group of their own anyway. Aries, in the BWS, is actually modeled after a female individual, hence the care I took to avoid using gender-specific pronouns in such chapters.

Q: Namek... When else have you made a reference to Dragon Ball Z?

A: In Close Encounter of the Strange Kind, the champion for the eternalz crashes down in a "Saiyanesque" pod. This is a reference to the single-pilot ships the Saiyans use to capture planets. I liked DBZ until it became popular, like many an anime, at which point I moved on to discover the thing that would prove obnoxiously popular in another two years. *sighs*

Q: Wait! This can't be the end of the FAQ's! You haven't told me the answer to a really big question of such proportions I've gnawed all of my fingers off in anticipation for the moment of truth, and now I can't even click to another page except by using my nose which is so degrading!